Tuesday 31 December 2013

Fat Chance

I have signed up for the above "workbook"/ system to see if it can help with a lot of my head related issues to do with my eating as I think its time I sorted my head and my relationship with food out. 
fatchance.co.nz is the link if you would like to have a week peek, $40 bucks was worth  a shot to me and its online so I can do it whenever and where-ever. Its a different approach than I am used to but still calorie counting. I am going to eat 1660 though as that is what I am used to and what I have decided to stick with for now but I will definitely work through the head stuff. I need this weight off a bit faster than this program allows for I'll get it off then go to the 2100 ish they recommend and see if I can maintain nicely there ... we will see I am sure. 

Today it is new years eve.... we are having a few friends around and we will have a few nibbles. they are all having "Wendys"for dinner and I may indulge I may not. I am not a huge burger fan so it doesn't bother me to much. I will however have cider or three or a wine and some chips and dip to ring in the new year. 

This year has seen us sign up to build our home exactly a year ago today. Take out a mortgage, spend months waiting for the title to our land, spend months waiting to the building company to get started. I turned 30, the boy asked me to marry him. I had my first stay in hospital since I was born and an operation to remove my gall bladder. I then had a fair few complications from that to deal with as well. I secured a permanent job at school. I made choices and decisions to run a half marathon and ride 200 kms over 2 days in 2014. I have made some amazing friends, been inspired but some even more amazing people who are now my friends. There has been HUGE ups and downs in the process. But in the end we have come out on top and life is actually really wonderful. I may not be at my goal weight, I may not be as fit as I want to be. BUT I am happy and healthy and have a loving, caring partner who I adore and have no idea what life would be like without him. Even though this year has had its very hard and rough patches, and i may have a few scares ( hidden but still there) I have stuck at thing and worked bloody hard. 

I love my life and the people in it and I am looking forward to smashing 2014 out of the park. AND .... there is about 50 odd days till my house is finished ( maybe possibly even less.... then I can MOVE IN!!)

Sunday 29 December 2013

Christmas and the junk

I am clearly one of those people who has to rid their environment of junk food and unhealthy choices, as honestly I can not seem to get it sorted and I really believe a lot of that is to do with the temptations I face everytime I walk into the kitchen in our house, I live with my in-laws, have done for two years counting down till our house is finished hopefully in about 8 weeks time.
I honestly can not wait until I can rid my environment of temptation and be able to avoid shit food etc, as at the moment with all the christmas extra crap on top of all the normal junk I am really not doing to well. I just find it to hard and cave in, part of that is self control I am fully aware but it is so much easier to have self control when its not their to tempt you etc.

I have been consistent with my runs this and I am loving that 5 kms is still hard but I can mentally push to get myself to the end of that. I am going to add 1 min to my runs each time and slowly increase the distance/time as this half marathon is about time on my feet.

I still worry about how the hell I am going to complete it, but thats what the training is for. I can train I have done it all before. I just want to do it lighter.

I need to be more consistent with my strength training as this week it has been a no go, haven't even don't it once. SO tomorrow I will do it and wednesday and friday. I have changed my runs to match the 12 week program and so I can get used to it etc and used to running 2 days back to back, which I had been doing anyway.

need to be more consistent with my food and I am hoping to verge back under the 100 kg mark by new years eve. I need to be a bit lighter as I think being this heavy has a large impact on my running etc, I am pretty sure lugging 85-90 kgs would be a shite load easier than lugging a 100 kgs.

On the plus side my reflux has gone again, so I must be sorting my eating out to some degree, I need to eat veges and fruits and cut the high sugar out, I really struggle with sugar, I LOVE lollies I honestly do.

In other news, might go look at a dining room table today and see if the one I like at early settler has matching coffee tables and we need to find the "red" colour we want for our splash back as I need to get some quotes for that and get it sorted to go in as soon as the kitchen is in the house.
We are currently awaiting the house to be gibbed stopped and then once that is done the kitchen can go in and they can pain the inside. But as everyone stops for close to three weeks the kitchen install is not booked until the 20th of January. Hopefully my front door arrives soon as well as the temp on is GROSE !

Onwards. Have a nice day all.

Thursday 26 December 2013

Setting goals for 2014

The last week has been a little rough food wise, I have managed to eat far far to much in a global sense, drinking not so bad but thats normal for me I don't normally drink too excessively. 

So my weight is up over the 100 kg mark, which makes running a little hard at times BUT I am now able to run just under 5 kms solid and I am loving it. So I will work on getting to the 5 km mark and then will keep the intensity until my 12 week half marathon training kicks in. I DO need to become more regular with my strength stuff as I have been a little lazy about it so it needs to become a priority and I need to get strong. I am hoping with the exercise and healthy balance eating I will lose some weight as a side product of everything as I need to get the kgs off I am uncomfortable and I hate being this big. ( living arrangements will change in the next 10 weeks so YAY for being able to "de-junk" my environment.) 

I am looking forward to getting into 4 runs a week that increase in time. I know I need to be consistent every single time!! No letting a run go and no just not doing things, its got to be done to make me the best me I can be to complete this event. 

Exercise 
# consistent 4 runs a week 
# 3 strength sessions a week 
# 3x1 min prone every day ! 
# stretch my legs and back ( increase the length in my hip flexers) 

Eating 
# track 
# reduce sugar and fat content of foods 
# eat well balanced meals 
# no binging 
# 2 -3 litres a day 

Mental
# work on positive self talk
# increase mental strength to not give up when running 
# work through things and not eat my emotions ( HUGE task) 

I can do this.. this week until new years is about re-setting the healthy balanced approach to food and continuing to get my routine stabilised and in place. I have just over 3 weeks until its only 12 weeks until this event ( guess I had better enter it as well). 


Tuesday 10 December 2013

Plodding along

On Sunday I had a melt down, emotionally I just completley hit rock bottom. I was tired, sad and over it. I miss my Dad and I just need and want my own space. The house end dates keeps getting pushed out further and further and I just feel so stuck and crammed in where we are living. I find it so hard to to not feel useless due to the fact I don't have my own space etc. I also just miss being able to go home and blob on the sofa and relax. If I want to do this I have to go to my room and well its just not the same. I also feel like everything about our lives is discussed with everyone and well.. THERE is NOOO need for everyone to have input into us buying things. I have got to the point where I just go and buy things for the house and don't say a word.

SOO I cried and cried and cried. The Fiance just cuddled me and made me feel better. He is a sweetie as he gets that things are bloody hard for me at times and I just can't do it anymore. The house has been pushed back to the 19th of February, thats completion then we need to obtain code of compliance. So that means there is a chance it maybe March... yes I just write March, before we move into the house. That is is if they don't make up the time and things in the new year.

Food was dreadful on Sunday as well. I just ate tried to squash the feelings with food. By the good grace of things, I had helped a friend move in the morning so I has moved a fair bit by the time this eating began.

I weighed in today.

Highest weight 101
Last weeks weight 99.4
Todays weight 98.6
Loss 800 grams.. Ill take that and move one.

I need to just keep focused.

I have also stopped having protein shakes for breakfast and have gone back to burcher musli.
I think all the protein may have been a bit much and I wonder if it is why I have these huge waves of being SO tired.



Friday 6 December 2013

Job Situation

I have a permanent job as of the 28th of January, SOO stoked I can finally settle into my life here and stop worrying about it. I have relaxed a lot. I will be teaching year 2's at this stage, looking forward to it. Should be a hoot.

I am thinking the not stressing is helping with the weight loss. As the only huge stressor I now have is the house and the waiting for it to be finished, which is a huge head spanner as I really desperately need my own home and space. But I can hang in there for another 10 odd weeks. 6 weeks of that is holidays and 2 weeks left of work. So thats 8 weeks of time to go by. and then the school term starts, so it should hopefully be ready by the end of week 2 of the term. But in reality it may possibly be week 3 or even 4. But with the beginning of school is a really busy time so hopefully it will fly past.

Weight wise.. I am loving watching the scales creep downwards. I am wanting to get as close to the 95 mark as I can by xmas. So getting there slowly.

I have a few hurdles this weekend, we have dinner at friends tonight and BBQ on saturday night as well as the general not over eating at cricket, which I struggle with at times. But I can take carrots and things to get me through. Carrots and strawberries and a salad for lunch. I know if I run its not as hard but its still a bit of a mission for me. Then Sunday morning we are helping a friend move. In there I need to run and do a strength session as well. I feel stronger and thats awesome I can also feel my muscles in my lower stomach and hip areas. Apparently eventually I will be able to feel the difference in my body when I run. Looking forward to smashing a 5 km solid run as soon as I am allowed to do it.


Thursday 5 December 2013

Things are going well

My weight is going down.. slowly but its going down.

I have exercised for 7 days in a row, stoked about that !

I am now running 4 times a week and strength training three times a week. My physio is pleased with the progress my leg is making and I am working back up to running for a 30 mins solid. Currently doing interval training.

I am feeling smaller and leaner weird how the brain kind gets a hold of things and runs with it.

Not long till work stops for me, I am honestly looking forward to it, having a break and getting my head around what next year brings and the things I need to do..

Monday 25 November 2013

Cycling... on the road !!

The weekend was great but far to short.

Saturday I ran in the heat eeekk yuck, and then I tidied and sorted some things. One wants to pack but well there isn't really anything to pack as yet. I am going to try and get the other half to sort his clothes out and de-clutter a bit. Then we can start to pack, I think. 8 - 10 weeks and the house should be finished.

Saturday night was the work do, man it was fabulous, I drank far to much and danced for hours, my leg seemed to cope with that. I also then ate mcdonalds on the way home as I didn't eat enough dinner, no where near enough for the amount I drunk. Think that is possibly the most I have drunk in about 2 years. I had a blast really was fabulous.

Sunday saw a visit to the house to check out the wiring and some of the other bits and bobs, we are getting there slowly, the electricians really like our house and the fact people have written comments and things all over the framing, kind of makes it ours and well is a bit of fun.
The the other half and I went for a bike ride, first ride on the road in cleats for us and well it was fabulous, my friend is teaching us to ride safely and how to make the most of our bikes etc. She is amazing and we are lucky she is willing to give up her time to teach us. We cycled 10kms in 40 mins ( for her thats like a nice we jaunt) for us, it hurt haha.

I am wanting to increase my road cycling to 3 times a week and 4 runs. Which I know seems like a lot but I need to get fit and I enjoy both running and cycling.

I am also contemplating doing lake Taupo challenge next year. Its a HUGE thing 160 kms in one day. But I am a true believer you can do what you put your mind to.

My food yesterday was a bit well crap too.

Start fresh today and work hard this week and I am hoping to be in the 98's by next monday.

I was 101.. today but that is because I am retaining fluid from the booze!

Have a good day all.

Friday 22 November 2013

Over eating

Still battling with eating to much, and its always the wrong kind of thing. I really need to focus on this in the coming week and make sure I stop eating and especially stop munching junk after dinner. Need to get some fruit and things so I have a nice wee strawberry or two or something like that. 

My running is going ok. I really want to just run, but that is not going to help my leg get better. But today I can run 2 mins and walk 1 min intervals for 20 mins. So I will after work go for a run around the league field ( BORING AS HELL BTW)

I brought new jeans last night, size 14 and 2 new tops from glassons size 16. I know some people wouldnt mind being this is, but to me, its to big, the tummy has to go. 

OHH the physio's wee prone hold thing I do is a killer everytime but I do it, as the idea of toning up my tummy and side under neath appeals for when we can see the underneath. I dont want to be super skinny, but I do want my roles gone from me tummy. 

Work do this weekend and I will enjoy myself. I am going to allow myself not to feel restricted and just enjoy myself, I find I don't binge eat then. I then have work break up last day of term and then xmas and new year to get through. So if I can be healthy and good with my eating, run and bike it should all balance out and the scale should keep dropping. 

Wednesday 20 November 2013

Physio

I went and saw him he stabbed me with needles, yup needles, wasn't to bad but today its a bit achy.
He is happy with my progress with the prone holds now I have to do 1 min front and 1 min on each side.  YUP 3 mins of prone holds. I need to get the middle of me strong to keep myself well and organised.

I have also started to fund raise for the ride to conquer cancer, if you would like to help me fundraise follow the link below.



That is my personal page, I am riding as part of a team so can not wait. Need to get myself on my bike. But that decemebers goal as I am currently working on re-hab my leg. 

Tuesday 19 November 2013

New Shoes

I ran last night in my new shoes on grass ( yes bloody grass) no I am not impressed and I do not like it I am a street/road girl I like the hard footpath under my feet not wobbly spongy ick grass. But its to rehab my leg and get it better and stronger so I can run pain free.

I am still unsure about my shoes I have 60 days to decided if I like them or not so time will tell. My Physio is a hard case he txt me last night and was like, so how are the shoes and how was the run. I was like who is a nutter who thinks running on grass is pleasant. His response "Running is not easy, that is why I do not do it :P"
He really is lovely. he challenged me to do a prone hold for a minute a day to strengthen my core ( well what is ment to be my core as I dont have any ab muscles haha) and I managed a full minute on my toes last night, rather stoked as that means I am getting stronger. I will keep it up and possibly ( once we are in the house and I have some room to move, look at doing a bit more strength training with my swiss ball and press up etc etc to get the rest of me toned as well.

I did not say about my weigh in but I can confirm I STS, from last week bloody surprised I did not gain actually.

This week I have my work do, so there will be still booze water retention on monday so not too worried what the scales say so 2 Decemeber I want a decent loss, 1-2 kg would make me a happy camper. So I will aim for that and getting my leg better so I can clock up some more miles under my feet..

I also need to get on my bike and get some km's under my bum as well.

On house front still awaiting to know if and when the dam thing will be finished.

Monday 18 November 2013

being honest

Something is effecting me mentally and I am unsure exactly what it is. I have been over eating for the past two weeks with drastic side effects. I am just getting heavier.

I think possibly is a combination of self sabotage and nasty talk and everything falling into place with my life. I wonder if its a settling thing. There really isn't anything for me to worry about. Apart from the house. I really do need to let the house stuff go and just move forward from there.

I have decided to participate in the ride to conquer cancer ride in 2014, signed up and everything. Its a 200km bike ride over two days. I am not bike fit and this may kill me. BUT it gives em something to work towards and it gives me another reason to lose this weight and focus on something else, along with the half marathon I will be doing in April.

I brought new shoes yesterday and I am looking forward to giving them a wee trial tonight, physio instructed running, 1 min walk, 1 min run on grass for only 20 mins. My exercise is being reduced I am allowed to bike though so I am thinking I may just get on my bike.

This weekend is my work do, on Saturday that is the last thing before xmas, so after saturday is clean eating and exercising. I need to get fit. I am thinking I might starting riding 3 times a week in the holidays as well as running 3-4 times a week, get my kms up in both areas and then hopefully that will help with the weight and filling in my days in the holidays. I also have a hole lot of things to get my head around in regard to my new year level for next year and what the outcomes are for the children, I am excited and can not wait to get there.

I think possibly I am eating as a cycle of eat crap beat myself up and then eat more crap and make myself feel even worse.
TODAY it stops. I need to track everything and focus on sticking to my calories and not over eating.
I will run today aswell.

WATER WATER WATER!

Saturday 16 November 2013

My leg

Went to a physio last night. My leg has issues its full of fibre lumps and my new shoes are not good for my feet. So I will be buying new shoes tomorrow properly fit ones and taking the time to get my leg sorted.  It's ok these things happen. 
My nutrition / eating are awful. Need to spend some time working out why .. what's triggering it all etc and planning how to sort it out. 
I am funny how I can start a day well the collapse in a heap by dinner time. 

Thursday 14 November 2013

My knee

HURTS !!!!! 

It felt heaps better yesterday so I went for a run.... run a bit ouch tight, very tight thighs and calf on my right leg, stop running walk a bit. Start running again, the process repeated itself quiet a bit as I ran through my 6km run. Get home feel fine, legs a bit tight. The fiance rubbed my right leg down with anti flame and things are ok, tight but ok. Get up today and get to work walk about a bit and BOOM OUCH! My knee is hurting ... txt a friend at works hubby he is a physio, but can't get an appointment until tomorrow.. how annoying ! So no running for me until this is sorted as it hurts BADLY and I am limping as I don't want to put my body weight on it. 

I think finally my protein bars have arrived and hopefully my powder will by tomorrow aswell or I am going to run out. 

Dinner I think I may have Ptita pit, rather liking that at the moment for a quick easy meal. 
I have xmas presents to finish buying and wrapping to start tonight as well. I will be home alone for the first time in a very long time. ( I live with my in laws and sister in law as well!) 

3 months today until the house "should" be done !!! roll on that time going buy I miss my stuff and space and being able to do whatever etc as well. 

Wednesday 13 November 2013

Sorry been MIA

The weekend was a disaster food wise as well as I became unwell and things just well BOOM... ok so back to it on monday, even went for the worst run of my life, yes you read the correctly it was just not ok, sore knee and all. The yesterday I had a little bit more food than I should have. Today so far so good. I have a run planned just about to map it out. 6 kms I will try and run tonight, I managed 5 kms on monday and stopped as my knee was hurting.

I GOT THE PERMANENT JOB !!! Stoked relieved and happy I can finally settle into my life here and get on with being the best teacher I can be ( and possibly plan a baby in there now too.)

I need to get my head back in the game and get my eating awesome like it was.
I have ordered protein bars and some more protein powder and I am thinking of cutting all carbs and sugar out apart from natural stuff. Will see how I go.

Weigh in from monday

CW 100.9 kgs
GAIN of 2.2 kgs

A lot of that was fluid I think.. but we will see on monday!!!!!


Friday 8 November 2013

the week....

This week has been a disaster on so many fronts, I can honestly say I have eaten the worst I have eaten in a long time and I haven't exercised except for monday. 
I am going away for the weekend, so I will resort my shit on Monday. 

Monday will be a success because I will sort and plan my food once back from christchurch on Sunday night. I will run 6 kms on monday and then 5.5km on wednesday and then 5km friday and 6kms on Saturday. 

I am an emotional eater and all the stress from the job situation and the fire works, I am hellishly scared of them has sent me into a not sleeping, eating junk cycle because I am so tired and I just can not say no to myself. I have decided its ok, its been a week of crap but thats ok, it didn't take me a week to improve my fitness and sort my healthy eating it wont take a week to ruin it either. 

The scales will not be nice on monday ohh well they are scales. I can run 6 kms again that in itself is pretty bloody amazing. 


I got A job at school I am not sure if its permanent yet or not !! 

OHH next saturday is my Zoo experience with the red panada can not wait !!!!

Tuesday 5 November 2013

Really sore legs

My legs and hips were so sore last night I had trouble sleeping and couple that with the "worrying about sh*t" factor means I feel like I am in a fog today. Might be an interesting adventure this morning. 

We went to the house last night to mark in where we wanted extra nogs for the tv's to be put on and where we wanted the man hole ( Fiance is 6 foot 6) the gap needs to be big enough for him to get through. ( Not me him !) 

I am stoked that the weight is moving and it is slowly going down.. it makes me feel happy but I am also aware that the muscles etc are doing things to. happy chappy 

Today, some more waiting about job and report writing !!

Rest day which I am rather very much looking forward to!

Monday 4 November 2013

Weigh in day

Last week 99.7 kg
Today 98.7 kg
Loss 1 kg
Total loss 1.7 kg  

Yay finally we are moving in the right direction :)


WOhooo right down-ward!!!! 


Today I should find out weather I have a job etc, I am a bit edgy about it all and my tummy is playing up I honestly can say I am a person who needs to keep my stress levels down and try not to over think and over stress about things. I love my job and I really enjoy working in my current school very much. 

I am planning a longer run tonight so I need to geo-map that and see how far it is etc. 

I did it I ran 6 km... it wasn't the nicest of runs and I had to keep pushing myself. BUT that for me is the normal at the moment, you want the results you have to push. 

No news on the job front, still waiting, maybe today ? Keep waiting .... 


Sunday 3 November 2013

Two good runs

Today I ran again, same with yesterday as I missed Friday., due to a few reasons. 
I had a job interview at school on Friday and I am waiting the outcome if it and I had a dinner for my sister in laws birthday. So I decided to run both days of the weekend instead so I did. 

On Friday I had three glasses of wine and a funny folded pizza thing, which I ate 3/4's of and a pudding I ate 2/3's of the gelato I order. I felt I control and happy with my choices. I am really proud of my dinner out and how I managed to rein it all back in again and the last two days have been fabulous again. 

I am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow, even though it's ttom. 

I honestly feel like I am a lot better and I am starting to be nicer to myself and I can see results in my body and my clothes, my jeans are loser in funny places and I can see the muscles in my legs. I also have noticed my boobs have shrunk hahah woohoo everything like is shows me I am getting fitter and healthier and I am on the right track and no matter what I can not give up. 

I love the freedom running, even though I am slow, gives me. 
Saturday 5.51 Km's 38.38 mins.   Split 7 min Km's 
Sunday 5 Km's 5kms 37mins 7.20 min splits this was rather a hilly run

So tomorrow I run the "hill" I haven't managed to get up it yet, so tomorrow I will try. 

I foam rolled my legs today to hopefully take the edge off my run tomorrow. 
Hopefully I can celebrate obtaining a permanent job tomorrow :) 

Ohh I also have a whopping great big blister on my heel :( ouch use 

Friday 1 November 2013

The pills

I stopped taking the fat burners I was on, on Wednesday, and the scales have dropped 1.6 kg in two days. Honestly I am wrapped, I am hoping to drop to where I was hoping to be and make my November the 14th goal of 95 or under. I know that I was doing the right thing but I think these pills played havoc with my system. 

I am soo happy, I will keep at it. I think I can actually see it going its odd I feel slimmer and so much happier in myself. I really can not wait to get back to 88 kgs  and then work on getting down a bit further. 

I am going to up my long run tomorrow to 5.5 Km's looking forward to that, I feel so much fitter and do not get so sore I can hardly move the next day, so hopefully in the coming weeks I am running 5 Km's three times a week and then a long run on a Saturday morning. Just to up that fitness  and keep my body guessing. By December I want to be heading towards making my long run a 10k. 

Hope you are all well. I look forward to bringing you weigh in on Monday :) 

Tuesday 29 October 2013

Sometime its ok...

So yesterday I was a bit funny and things got a little bit way ward.
I ate a little bit more than I should have at dinner and then all I wanted was ice cream, avoided the ice cream but not so much 2 small muffins (homemade) and 2 scotch fingers and a kit kat. Ohh well it's done now and there is not much I can do about.

I weighed in today
Last weeks weigh 100.4 kgs
Todays weight        99.7
Loss 700 grams

But still 200 grams up on my start weight.

I do not get why the weight is holding on but I can not let it get to me. Goal is to stay off the scales until Monday. I will remeasure myself in a month as well and try my dress on. Lots of measures are way better than one. I am hoping ym jeans start to get lose soon, they are still fitting me well, I would love to get back into my size 12 jeans and clothes, I feel a lot better about myself when my tummy isn't this big.

Monday 28 October 2013

This weeks goals

C25km training week 5 day 1 & 3 and week 6 day 1 and a long run on Saturday. 
Measure myself. 
Good eating reduce the sugar. 
No weighing every day. 
Sleep, this is something I need to have. 
I am taking fat burners, rally the jury is out with them, I don't really know if they are helping or not because well..... I am a giant stay the say weight loss wise. But my dress can be done up, my size 12 shorts, though tight fit me, and I feel better in myself. Sooo who really knows. 

Measurements 
Arm 36 cms 
Thigh 67 cms 
Hips 115.5 cms 
Tummy 114 cms 
Bust 106.5 cms 

Run done and dusted aswell. Had breakfast and my protein shake... Now what to do..possibly wrap Xmas presents, get that done then I only have three to sort !

Sunday 27 October 2013

The dress ....

I am using this dress as a way of gauging  my weight loss, I tried it on a month ago 28 September, the fiancé took photos... Tried it on again today. Defiantly a difference. 

So not everything is about a set of scales and a number 




Above September 
Above today 


Below 28 September 
Above today 




The run

Yesterday I decided to add a "long run" to my running schedule as I though it might be best if I make sure I run at least one day a weekend so my body get used to that before I start running all the time, once I start the half marathon training. 
So my thought was well how can I set this long run up, so I ranq as  far as I could non stop. 
5km in 37 mins, it was painful at times mentally I had to battle with myself not to stop and keep pushing myself along p, and it definitely was a km by km thing yesterday but I am proud that in three weeks I have got back to running 5kms and now to continue that. Not to Say it was easy as it was anything  of the sort and I am sure next Saturday it won't be easy either but I did it and I now I know can next  week I will again run for as long as I can, or 5kms and see how I go. 


So you would think with all that running the scales wlould do something ..... Nope.... Nada not a thing. I went to a BBQ last night and ate back my run calories yesterday. But I have no eaten back any of my other exercise calories this week and still nada, frustrated is not the half of it nor does it explain my mental anguish with this, I really am near on the point of tears. I eat 1550 calories a day I burn 400calories per run minimum at three -four runs a week... What the hell am I doing wrong !!!!!!!! I know I am not doing anything wrong as I have done this before but it is soo disheartening to not see ur results for all that hard work, I honestly am being honest too.. What the hell do I do...... 

Keep running, I love it, it makes me feel free. 

Today I am going shopping for some new trainers, ugh hate breaking in new shoes but I need them my  shoes are wearing out on the bottom and becoming slippery and I am going to get paint colour for the splash back in the house. I want to look at BBQ's and Go and get some colourings for the cake I have to make for Thursday at school. 

ATM I honestly feel like I am a failure when it comes to this weight loss crap, I really do. The only thing I am good at is getting fit.... I will take that but I feel shit that I am hurting my body so much by cariryjng this extra weight about all the time.


Went and brought new shoes and a pair of new pants and some socks today, shoes are Avia never heard of them but they are comfy as and bend with my feet, so hopefully make it nice to run in and really light. Pants from warehouse I refuse to pay huge money for pants when I am going to destroy them with sweat etc and I may one day by decent brand labeled ones, but maybe not. 

Run tomorrow. Today was ok food wise, but a little comfort eating with lollies  and a movie. Ohh well tomorrow is another day. 

Friday 25 October 2013

Still at it ...

I am working really hard on my running, I have cut 14 seconds off my run time over this week. I am really pleased I am stoked to be honest. But I need to try and run as far as I can for as long as I can at some point to see if I am able to run 5km or close to it. I feel So so good I am fit and I feel healthy. But those scales are stuck I swear to god I am being as honest as one can be I track everything but still no movement on the scales. Is it really possible is muscle fat exchange, really if don't know. All I know is I feel the best I have in a very long time and I am actually getting somewhere with my mental state. It is also the longest I have stuck at something in a very long time. I am at week 4 that's the best running stuff I have done in about  two years, as I am feeling alive fit and energised. I hurt in the nicest way and it's fabulous. 

I do however need to get a foam roller and roll out my legs must work on that I am also thinking about seeing a physio to check I am not hurting myself or creating any damage to my joints and things. I think it's very important to be as healthy as I can be. I don't want to ruin myself etc. 


I think that is part of the reason my weight not moving is bothering me so much, Because it's making me heavier and buggering my joints :) so I run harder etc hahah funny cycle. 

My eating has been really good I have cut so much sugar out, well I am trying to. It's hard I am a bit of a lollie girl. Trying though. 

Thursday 24 October 2013

How the brain works...

Honestly I know see why some people find losing weight SO soul destroying. When you know you are doing everything right and your body just wont play the game. When you know there isn't any reason what so ever for your weight to not move or in some awful cases go up ! I can see why people, especially those of us who are emotion eaters, then again turn back to food and the cycle starts all over again. This is where I think our obsession with weighing ourselves is really really a negative and harmful thing. I also believe that this is what is causing me to have some really bad and negative and harmful thoughts at times. I can at times say the most nasty and awful things to myself and it is, this time only by pure determination that I have not gone and eaten myself stupid. Why is this time different, why is it that this time I have not done this.. 
Because ..... I WANT to run this half marathon and eating myself stupid wont help me get there. It is possibly the only logical thought process that I have had at times over the past week.

On another note, sleeping is soo important, last night I burst into tears about being tired and how tired I felt, then the fiance put me to bed. I was asleep by 9:30 pm and only woke up a few times. I feel a SH*T load better today and not as shattered. The other things I have realised is, I NEED to sleep its is actually as important as eating properly. So I am going to start making an effort to get myself into bed and ready before 9pm. 

My run yesterday was awesome, yet again I feel I am running more and more, and I shaved a min off the time from Monday, same distance, so I am stoked. I want to run 6 - 7 min kms so I am hopefully on my way to do doing that. 

Today is a rest day for me, I am not as sore today as I was on Tuesday so the body is getting used to all this. Hopefully that means it will start to move the weight,  which I think is the reason why I have a bit of a tender knee, because I am too heavy ! Off dam weight to make this running stuff easier for me !! 

Today we are going to the mall for dinner, I will stick to my calories there is no need not to. 

I also have to decide what I am going to have as my treat this week, or if I am going to have a treat at all. 


Wednesday 23 October 2013

Hmm ... what to do

Weighed myself this morning and its going down slowly but its going down.

BUT the question for today is ... 

Do I run as far as I can tonight for as long as I can 5 km max type thing. OR do I just move to week four of the C25km training and do jog 3 mins walk 90 secs, jog 5 mins walk 2.5 mins, jog 3 mins  walk 90 secs the jog for 5 mins .... 

Hmm I am a bit unsure what to do. Part of me feels like really going at it and anther parts knows the training is good for me and might help with my speed etc.

I am stoked to be nearly at the 4 weeks of this training as that is where a normally fall off or get sick. I am being soo careful not to get unwell and to take my vitamins and to eat good fats and things. I am hoping all of these things will add up and stay well while I train for this mammoth event.

I love running I love the freedom it seems to give me and the stress relief I seem to attain from it. Finally I feel back to myself and that I am settling into my life again as me. The only thing that will improve that is more running and my house being complete and "us" being able to live together, in our own space doing our own thing.

I have decided to just do the c25km week 4 training and keep at it.. as it will help me get faster etc and possibly not kill me etc in the process. Its a bit wet and windy today so I might have to run faster to stay warm etc hahaha I am joking I run as fast as I run.

Tuesday 22 October 2013

Persistance beats resistance

Totally believe in this .. I really believe my persistence will get me there in the end. I know my gain yesterday may have been related to the wine I drank in the weekend as well. So I am happy with my achievements so far and I am looking forward to the coming week. 

My running is really coming along it is a mental battle but I am getting there with it. I ran a solid km yesterday as well as the c25km training of 3 mins x 4 blocks and then on and off over the last 1 km feeling proud of how far I have come in the past two weeks and where I am going to. 

Rest day today which I need to do my strength training because that is a bit lagging behind and I might stretch out my legs. 


LOVING Sunsweet dried mango packets = 70 calories and because they are in packets I dont eat the whole bag of them. WIN makes control easier for this girl if they are sealed away. They are my sweet treat at lunch and I am loving them. 

Day is going well started on water bottle number three just now, so hoping to get to 4 bottles a day = 3 liters. 

Monday 21 October 2013

Weigh in day

Start weight 99.5
Current weight 100.4
Gain of 900 grams

Hmmm I am positive I did all the right things.  Possibly fluid from drinking wine on Saturday night.  And after talking with a few people running at the beginning can do all sorts of odd things.
Positives I am fitter than I was a week ago  I have completed another week of the c25km training.  I feel better ib myself. 
I may try to restrain from weighing myself till Friday but that's a really hard thing to do !!

My new quote "persistence beats resistance!!" 

Fat can resist all it likes as I will persist with this running stuff until I can run this half marathon !!! and then possibly a few more. 

My run tonight was great but I think I am getting fitter as I am not burning as many calories as I was last week even though I am covering the same distance and running more and more of the 5kms. 

I feel really good and its awesome. 

Pretty annoyed at the building company, last week I emailed them to tell them they had placed someone else's photos on our on line log in thing.. and today I go in and there are even more of this other peoples house. The fiance is fumming I am just like what more did you expect !!! 
Honestly would recommend my builder any day of the week, he is a subbi to the building company but I would not build with Stonewood ever again!! 

Ugh I am starting to get very tired at about 7pm each night I seem to have this issue when I start exercising with this and I have to manage it well or I am going to crash and burn yet again.  I will take my iron pills tomorrow and my multi vitamins. Must look after myself. 

Tomorrows food is all made and ready to go BUT I need to track it all. 


Sunday 20 October 2013

The weekend

Friday night saw us taking a roof shout to the builders and roofers even after the building company told us "it's not the done thing" ummm well sorry it's a very old tradition and we wanted to do it. Worked in our favour builders were stoked and we chatted to them for about an hour about stuff. Bugger side was no run for me, and leaving the house at 7pm starving which lead to take always, I was starving and had a milkshake and a burger and about 10 chips. We got home and I felt I'll took some pills and hoped it would pass. We went to the movie gravity it was rather good. But by the time we came home I was grotty and so unhappy and feeling rather unwell. 

Saturday I got up and ran my training, ops ran week 3 day 1 instead of week 2 day 3. I couldn't figure out why it was so hard well there you go, I also ran one km solid so I was rather pleased with my efforts. Then Saturday night we went for dinner at a friends. I took a salad and dessert and we had a lovely BBQ, I had a steam for dinner it was lovely but..... My yummy just doesn't seem happy even a day later, I also had a wine mor two. Ohh well so I over ate a bit, I tracked it and I have the exercise in my back pocket to help with it. I do not now what the scales will say tomorrow but inside and personally I know I am on track to get fit and healthy and my body well it will catch p to this idea when it's ready I guess. I will just keep at it, because right now if feel mentally well and balanced and not stressed at all. 

We are off to the house to write on some of the studs soon and then head out for a bible ride. We ride clipped in and have been for about 6 rides since we got our bikes, I feel off last time so a little nervous about this but I am looking for it. And as riding is my fun hang with the boy activity I am not worried about burning heaps of calories, but I will wear my HRM for interest sake etc and so I can't rack it all accurately. 

Life is good, I have goals and ambitions for my fitness etc and well I do honestly believe it takes the body a few weeks to catch up and get with the program, so in the mean time I will just keep at it. Role on summer and feeling happier about myself and my fitness levels. 

Ohh one weekend and my Saturdays will be taken up with cricket again... Ohh the joys, must look for healthy options to take for snacks etc thinking lots of carrots and hommus and celery and things. Any suggestions please add. :) 

I had an ok bike ride, the boy got sore burning legs. we havent been riding much in the past wee while and well he doesnt really exercise other than a bit of cricket practice so we rode 6km in 25 mins which was ok 177 calories burned. 

This I posted on my facebook page earlier  .... "Managing everything and getting myself back into running and being healthy has been interesting journey. Since 2008 I have worked on improving my life. I today, as I was on the 28th of January 2008 am committed to getting myself healthy. This week I have run 3 times eaten 1550 calories daily + my exercise burnt calorie. Tomorrows results will be interesting as so far this week I have gained 200 grams. Tomorrow brings week two of getting fit and healthy. I have 3 runs planned and a bike ride or two. I have committed to running even in the rain. ...." 

I really do feel like this a another learning journey for me, my life has changed SO much In the past 2 years and well things are 100% different. So my weight loss journey has not been easy the past two years but now I feel is the time to get it all sorted and done and achieve one of my biggest goals. For some reason running 21.1 km really floats my boat and I can not wait to achieve it. 

Tomorrow I have a run planned and have planned out all my food apart from dinner. Looking forward to getting my running up a bit more .. can not wait till a 5km is my small run. 

Friday 18 October 2013

Hmm maybe its stubborn

I honestly think my weight is possibly just as stubborn as me !! It just won't move ! It went up on Tuesday and seems to be staying there.  Ohh well I know I am doing the right thing.  I possibly need more sleep though. 

Planning doing c25km training tonight but we might have to sort the roof shout for the builders.  If this happens ill run tomorrow morning instead. 

Lunch today us sushi food is all sorted already,  except dinner.

Thursday 17 October 2013

Counting calories ...

I really like counting or tracking my food it really works for me and I am now in such a better headspace about it all. NO ONE is 100% perfect and the only judge of all of this is me. THAT does not mean I am not accountable it just means I can not and will not beat myself up when I have my "treat" this week and I will not beat myself up if things go a little sidewards, sidewards can actually be a good thing. BECAUSE not even the skinniest people are on track all the time and they are normal people who go out for dinner and have nights out with friends etc ... so I am going to be a normal person too.

Which means not guilt and no beating one self up. I honestly believe that is how a little bit of a bad day turns into a bad week, month etc.

Wednesday 16 October 2013

Look at the positives ..

I am a serial weigher, I weigh myself almost every day and at times it can be like I have basically been bashed to death or the opposite and I end up high as a kite. I am aware these two extream reactions are actually not ok. BECAUSE a number on a scale does not represent success it is a tool for measuring a mass of something it does not show all the changes in habits and it definately does not show the changes in mind. 

My goal for today is to ignore that number and focus on the changes I have made. I am exercising regularly and I am focused on my eating, its not 100% but honestly it should be able to be a bit hairy around the edges at times. I also need to focus on my treat for this week and decide what this is going to be. 

I am looking forward to trying these pills and seeing if they help with move this weight and make my training for these runs easier. 

C25km week 2 day 2 today !! 

Today has been an awesome day. I really have felt very good in myself. I got the pills that I was talking about and started taking them. Let's see what happens. 

My run was great I ran more today than I have for months, I did the c25km training then ran more intervals on the way home to finish the 2km left after the first bit. Was  awesome I do have a little bit of sore knees at the moment and that worries me, but I know it's because I am so heavy. Grr bloody annoying trying to fix the weight issue and it causes more issues. I guess the sore knees is a big reason I am trying these pills I want the weight off so I don't do damage to my knees long term. 

I have enjoyed being able to say no to cake at work the past few days aswell. I feel in control and happy in myself. I am planning to have a wine or two on Friday with a friend to celebrate the roof on our house and that will be my treat for the week. I don't think a wine two can destroy a weeks worth of hard work. 

The other thing that I realised was, last time I started to run I had issues with my weight not going down, so it's a pattern for me. Ohh well it has to go sometime... Time will tell :) 

Rest day tomorrow going to visit my house and see if I have a roof coming along on there. 

Monday 14 October 2013

The long road out....

My weight has always been a huge issue as long as I can remember it's always caused me issues, but I ignored them for a very long time.

The one issues that always worries me is not being able to have a family or putting myself or my unborn child at huge risk because of my weight. I honestly just can't stand the idea.  So I really need to get healthy and within a stable weight range before embarking  on even trying to have a family. I also want to have been in this stable zone for a period of time so I can maintain my healthy lifestyle throughout being pregnant.  

Yea I am aware it's a little odd to worry about these things but I do !
I believe thay training for events will help me with this so I am looking into more events.  Albany lakes ( 3 events of 5km or 10kms would love to start with a 5 then do two tens)   and possibly the colourway run (5km). I think having other events will keep me focused.
Don't get me wrong just because I'm training won't automatically mean instant weight loss I am going to have to really watch what eat etc. But thats all part of being healthy.
This is definitely not been a sprint race to me.  I am definitely a turtle and it's going to take time to get to my goal weight and to get fit and back to running with ease, I cant wait for the day that 5 kms is my little run. 

Ohh K today I am rather sore, my butt and back are hurting so I am looking forward to a rest day. Thinking I may need to look at stretching a little bit to stretch out my back and hamstrings etc. I am stoked with how I feel, I am happy vibrant and excited about my future today. Even though so of my life goals are well not solidified like my job situation etc. I will get that sorted in time. I am looking forward to my personal and professional challenges in the coming year and can not wait to move into our home. Life is good and nothing is going to to stop this momentum to get fit and healthy. 

Today has been a good day, went up to our house, slight issue did not eat enough got home and ate chips, bugger it because they were bloody there it annoys me at times I can't get away from junk food in this house. On the plus side my house is going along nicely and we walked around inside it tonight and well honestly I got a little teary I can not wait for it to be finished! I can not wait to have my house  and my space and it clear of clutter, food wise and well in general. It's going to be exciting. I am also looking forward to going home and just doing my own thing etc, as well as house work and things. 

Have liked my rest day my legs are pleased for it I think the lactic acid is not so sore. Another run tomorrow for me :) looking forward to it .. But shhh don't tell anyone haha. 

I have also decided to try taking some fat burners and green coffee bean extract to help this process a wee bit, running heavy isn't fun and it's hurting my knees, so I am going to try this option to help get me lighter to not put so much pressure on my knees. I'll buy this pills tomorrow and tell you all what I think. 

I have eaten a few extra nuts and a a few dried dates but it's not a huge blow out just not as strict as I normally am. It's ok the bedroom is a great place to hide from the kitchen and the sh*t that tempts me in it. 

All in all my habbits are changing and I am happy with that. 

Weigh in week 1

Today saw a starting point created. 

99.5 kgs 

Not impressed but that's ok. 

First goal under 95 kg ... Goal by the 4 November .. Yup big goal but I can do it :) 

Back to work today ohh how I love routine!! Can not wait to see how being structured helps my eating. 
Again going to rave about chai seeds soaked them with my porridge sooo filling! 

 My samsung phone battery discharged itself in 3 hours this morning not to see why either. Think I might back it up and reset it. Bloody annoying though. So I had to factory reset the bloody thing and have lost everything from it....annoyed is not the words to describe how I felt about this. Thank god for my Mr he thinks he can fix it. 

On that note my bloody heart rate monitor decided to not work properly when I was running, grrrrrr so my calories burnt is not accurate so not impressed and I ran a lot more than I normally do. I do the c25km training session then today and yesterday I have run a bit more when I felt I could.. = grumpy doesn't even cut how I feel about technology today. 

Other than that my run as actually really good. I was a bit sore from yesterday but the running part was enjoyable I and am enjoying the challenge. I feel lighter in myself I am also no where near as hungry as I have been I am having to push myself to get to 1500 calories today I am currently 200 short. 

I do not eat my exercise burnt calories because I see them as a good buffer for everything. 

Water is good 2.25 litres pure water plus, 4 glasses of tea and coffee so happy with that one too.

I have a training session planned for Wednesday and one for Friday and possible a bike session on the weekend and maybe another training session. 

Hope you are all well :) 

Sunday 13 October 2013

A hard run

Got up got changed and out I went for day three of week 1 c25km training. It's a little windy today so was a bit interesting. My muscles are still sore from yesterday's strength session. But it was good sometimes things have to be hard and you have to push through, for me it's a determination I need to remember I have and that I need to show, as I am sure this is the first if very many "hard" days but u am happy for that challenge. My legs are a little sore though but I am going to do my strength training again tonight no pain no gain and it's not excessive. 

Bathurst today, I am a slight petrol head so will watch parts if it while I google nutrition and a few other things to do with the half marathon. 

I love e mental space running gives me, the time to think about myself and a few other things. Only 4 months (hopefully) until the house is finished and well at the moment that seems a fair way away but I am sure it will go fast in time. I am looking forward to moving as there is a ice circuit to run and ride from our home with a few hills in the mix aswell. 

Just spoke to my Dad ( he lives in oz) ugh wht does he think that my brother needs him to fix everything. Makes me so cross my dad is a good dad but my brother just expects him to bail,uni mouth each time. Not fair, I love my dad so much have never asked for anything but love back. I have worked hard for everything in my life. My brother blows his car up who is loaning him the money for a mother one.... Grrrrrrrrr but I guess it's none of my business really. Is it.. Vent over breathing now. And no food eaten in the processing of this mad moment.

Chai seeds, I recommend you try these little things they are amazingly filling if added to a smoothly and apparently you can soak them etc, have a wee google and give them a try. Finding it a little hard to eat all my calories today I feel full and not hungry. I know I need to have dinner etc the clock says so but heat to have hmmm...... Might have a couple of baby potatoes and sadly type thing. What are you having ? 

My dinner was so yummy I took a photo of it :) 
I am looking more at food from its nutritional value and what I can do for me and how it is good for me. It's been an interesting day. I am also not going to cut my carbs our as they are really important for energy levels when running etc. 

As much as I did not like my strength exercises yesterday, I did them again today! Ouch !!!  But the lactic acid in my legs is moving so that's good. 

All in all another good day some what not looking forward to the scales tomorrow, but I need somewhere to start from. So that is what it is. 

Saturday 12 October 2013

Starting to get the hang of it

So today I have had a good day. Water has been awesome, food has been ok under 1650 calories pleased with that. I made dinner avoided the wine and burger but had pudding, I made a lumberjack cake. I honestly just can not over eat my tummy is just not big enough and I really just do not want to stretch it again. Something I am aware of and going to just think about. The other thing I think about is, would you eat XYZ if it was a carrot. I also can not eat chocolate it makes me feel gorse and my stomach upset, ohh dear how bloody sad! 

I have also decided that I will allow myself a treat once a week, that maybe a glass or two of wine or a nice pudding like I had tonight or something similar. Just once a week and it will be to stop the deprived feeling I have and when this happens I fall down badly and lose the plot and binge. So I want to avoid the binging as that is not a healthy behaviour and I want to be as healthy mentally and physically as I can be. :) 

Tomorrow I would love to get a 5km training session in, the weather today was not good running weather for me, it's freezing wind and with my circulation issues I go numb in the hands and the feet, numb feet is not good when you taper trying to run you can't feel where they land. I have fallen a few times from this and honestly it's not worth the damage that happens, I have twisted my knees and ankles and scrapes etc. 

I am looking forward to seeing the results on the scales. Monday will be weigh in day, it's a nice way to start the week and gets it over and done with for me. Currently I am down a bit from the other day and just under the 100 kg mark. I hate those triple figures they mean many things to me, but the main thing it means is I have lost control and I do not want to be there again. I am in contour of my life, I make the choices and I have control of my future. 

Life honestly is a balancing act and it's the same when you are a person who has issues with your weight or maintaining a healthy weight and being happy. I am sure everyone has their challenges but this is mine, and it's a big one as it effects me on a fair few levels. At the moment my confidence and how I feel about myself. I feel awful and gorse. I never felt this being 140+ kgs but I feel this now after being small, just for a brief time I was small but I felt a hell of a lot better than this does. I also will not be so bloody hard on myself when I get there. Bodies and minds have issues at being on the same page at times, I am hoping I can manage this once I get there this time. 

Have a good evening all.. 


Strength training

3 x sets of 10 

Push ups on knees 
Crunches 
Tri dips
Lunges
Squats 

10 seconds prone hold x 3 


Oh my I am so unfit, I got shaky and felt out if breath. 
Feel a bit ashamed of that I really used to be so fit but since moving here I have let it slip to the point of being very unfit. I know realise being muscle strong and fit need to go hand in hand if I want to accomplish this goal. So I might try and do this strength training evey second day until I am up to 5 sets of 10 reps then I'll look at doing it daily. As the idea do being strong really appeals to me. 

I also need to look at my nutrition and cutting out my sugar and soft drink intake ( it's improving). 

Health wise my tummy was a but off yesterday but I feel better today. 

Breakfast I am back to eating my delicious porridge with mixed frozen berries and a tinned peaches sooooo yum! 
Water is going well too, but could do with a little bit more being drunk. 

I am thinking I'll add some photos but as my gym gear is nice and sucky insets not going to work so well. I have a dress I want to fit back into to which is the only smaller thing I have in my cupboard, everything else is boxed away with, under 88 written on the box, it will be like shopping without spending money. Once I get to under 88 I'll do a wee try on of those clothes then rebox what doesn't fit and write on it again. Some of it will be goal clothes I would say. I have some sexy little black dresses that I can not wait to wear at my 31st after my half marathon :) 

Friday 11 October 2013

Training to get to 5 kms

Will take another 8 weeks ... 
8 December 2013 I should be able to run 5 kms non stop and feel good about that YAY !!! 

Three runs a week  
1 - 2 Cross training that may mean a walk or a bike ride. 
3 sessions strength training. 
Starting with 1 set of 10 reps - pushups, sit ups, lunges, tri-cep dips, squats and lunges.  
This will increase by 2 reps per week. 


Any suggestions on this - please leave a comment. 



GOAL run a half marathon Sunday 13th April 2014. 

Hello..

Well here we go.. In January 2008 I started a journey of getting myself healthy, I was 140.4 kgs+ and SO unhappy. I wore a size 28 clothes and had a BMI over 50. I was unhealthy, unfit and pre-diabetic. My family was scared for my life and things were not going well. I started just watching what I ate and walking 30 mins a day. the weight fell off slowly and I begin to feel better. Eventually I joined weight watchers and managed to over the next year lose 30 kgs. I started to run I started to see a trainer and my weight kept coming off. In June 2011 I had lost 80 kgs and felt great. But I was unhappy in my relationship and left my partner of 5 years and decided to leave my job as well and move city. In between all that I gained back 8 kg, I also fell in love with my friend of 12 years and felt the happiest I had in years.  

I managed my weight ok through 2012, it went up and down between 88-94 kgs. Things were ok and I was playing with it but not really trying as hard as was really needed or being as committed as I needed to be to shift it. I had burst at it and then weeks of just well plodding along. But in November 2012 I was 89 kgs and felt happy enough. 

Then xmas came and went and my weight started to sky rocket and I was running and exercising. I felt unwell a lot and headed to the Dr, by this stage I had stabbing awful pains, my gallbladder was pretty cross and I had it removed urgently late february 2013. Since then I have had major issues with my weight. I have hit the 101.6 kg mark and freaked out and I have had the worst reflux of my life and been sent to a specialist. But in recent weeks it seems to have gone again and I have stopped taking my medication.

I now feel better about myself and again ready to kick this weight for once and for all while I train to run a half marathon on the 13th of April 2014. This is one of my personal goals I have not been able to achieve as yet.. this time.. its going to get done.

Today I weight 99.9 kgs, I wear a size 14 jean and a size 16 top. I am not comfortable this size. 

My goal is to get to 75 - 80 kgs and be a size 12 top and bottom, I want to run a half marathon. I want to feel proud of myself and happy in my clothes. 

So as of next week I start the coach to 5 km training ( already have completed week 1 day 1 & 2 this week) and I will continue running until I am a half marathon runner. 

I have always achieved good weight loss when it is along side a an exercise goal. This goal is massive but it is on my bucket list. SO it will be done. 
I have hunted down a training program and I will start that 12 weeks out ( so beginning of January) and between now and then I need to get to a 7-10km run distance. 

Aswell as all of this I live with my inlaws while my house is being built and I am currently applying for jobs for next year. 
Wish me luck. 

I CAN DO THIS, I am capable of reaching my goals and dreams. 

I am going to use myfitnesspal to track my calories (1500 a day) and map my run to track my runs. Aswell as wear my heart rate monitor while running. 

Goal is to run 3 times a week and hopefully bike once a week with the Fiance. 

As my training increases my goals will aswell. 

This is the end goal:   http://orewabeachhalfmarathon.com