being honest

Something is effecting me mentally and I am unsure exactly what it is. I have been over eating for the past two weeks with drastic side effects. I am just getting heavier.

I think possibly is a combination of self sabotage and nasty talk and everything falling into place with my life. I wonder if its a settling thing. There really isn't anything for me to worry about. Apart from the house. I really do need to let the house stuff go and just move forward from there.

I have decided to participate in the ride to conquer cancer ride in 2014, signed up and everything. Its a 200km bike ride over two days. I am not bike fit and this may kill me. BUT it gives em something to work towards and it gives me another reason to lose this weight and focus on something else, along with the half marathon I will be doing in April.

I brought new shoes yesterday and I am looking forward to giving them a wee trial tonight, physio instructed running, 1 min walk, 1 min run on grass for only 20 mins. My exercise is being reduced I am allowed to bike though so I am thinking I may just get on my bike.

This weekend is my work do, on Saturday that is the last thing before xmas, so after saturday is clean eating and exercising. I need to get fit. I am thinking I might starting riding 3 times a week in the holidays as well as running 3-4 times a week, get my kms up in both areas and then hopefully that will help with the weight and filling in my days in the holidays. I also have a hole lot of things to get my head around in regard to my new year level for next year and what the outcomes are for the children, I am excited and can not wait to get there.

I think possibly I am eating as a cycle of eat crap beat myself up and then eat more crap and make myself feel even worse.
TODAY it stops. I need to track everything and focus on sticking to my calories and not over eating.
I will run today aswell.

WATER WATER WATER!